Inside text: where the hell is my pickle fork? i can't have anything
nice with you kids.
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Inside Text: you may see a man with two mules. i see three jackasses.
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Inside Text: so i called mavis to tell her i got eight inches last
night and, of course, the bitch claimed she got nine.
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Inside text: momma loves her some eggnog! season's greetings.
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Inside Text: if a bear shits in the woods, should i have a cocktail?
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Inside Text: how ironic. her kids are super heroes, and she's a super
bitch.
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Inside Text: "mom, please put the cocktail down and come out
with your hands up!"
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Inside Text: sir, how does it feel to be the first man to give birth?
"how does it feel? you try shooting a nine pound ham out your ass!"
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Inside Text: mel-vin! i'd say that one was about a 5.8 on the rectal
scale.
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Inside Text: i'm sorry dear, but mommy has outsourced your diaper changes
to your daddy. you'll find him on the sofa watching the game.
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Inside Text: jeanie had her ultrasound today and the doctor believes
it's a girl. (or a boy with a very small penis)
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Inside Text: who is it lester? it's that hot mechanic down at the l5
minute lube joint, isn't it?
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Inside Text: where's it written that our kids should be better
off than us.
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Inside Text: curb your pet!
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Inside Text: there he goes again showing off his wiener.
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